Why do bagpipers always march when playing? To get away from the sound. Also, moving targets are harder to hit. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion? Nobody cries when you chop up a bagpipe. What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe? You can tune a lawnmower. What's a definition of a gentleman? Someone who knows how to play a bagpipe but doesn't. What's the difference between a dead snake on the road and a dead bagpiper on the road? Skid marks in front of the snake. How do you get two bagpipers to play in perfect unison? Shoot one of them.
Thanks to Descartes for the idea. And to a couple other websites for posting bagpipe jokes they stole from someone else.