The future of education has arrived.
Rrrrrupert is Rrrrready. Ready to enter the U.S. education "market", that is. Americans can soon leave their damnable and degrading dismal dumbness behind if Rupert has his way. Virtual classrooms are the answer. No traditional classrooms, desks or chalkboards. Just computers. Computers running Rrrrrrupert's Rrrrremarkable Rrrrrevolutionary software, of course.
Rupert has been quietly developing virtual-learning and technology-driven products which are now apparently ready to unveil at a K-12 school near YOU!
Students rounded up into cubicle corrals like a Pakistani ShamWOW call-fulfillment center, staring intelligently at monitors and going at their own speed. It's learning in the fast lane, I tell ya, college by age 7 for some. Jebeezus but it is hard to sit still as I write this.
What do we want? "EDUCATION!"
When do we want it? "NOW!"
Who da man? "RRRRRRUPERT!"
Who gonna pay? "YOU ARE!"
Who gonna make money? (All together now) "RRRRRRRR---"