View from the back porch, shotgun on my lap.

Buy this print here if you want to

I seldom speak of politics. You all know that. And even when I do I am restrained. Respectful. Tolerant.  I am a diplomat, you see, and I mind my own business. It is all I can do to bring myself to blog publicly. Or at least as publicly as 3 regular readers will get me.

I visit a lot of liberal blogs. I have always preferred to read liberal blogs over wingnut blogs. I can't think of much to comment on many, but I still read them. I used to read conservative blogs but they are too repetitious and predictable. Ho hum. Liberal blogs are lying, narrow-minded, holier-than-thou idiots who think they have life all smugly figured out too, but they are MUCH more creative than the silly Republican blogs. Republican blogs make me want to puke with their stupidity. Democrat blogs make me laugh out loud and you can't get mad at an idiot if he makes you laugh. Not me, anyway. So give me the Liberals any day. It goes without saying none of these blogs I'm talking about are owned by the intelligent and discriminating three people who read MY blogs. Obviously they are smart if they do that.

I was just sitting here in my rocking chair wondering why anyone in their right mind would ever vote for Romney. I sure won't.

First off, he's a Mormon. That means he wears modest underwear and stores up food against scarcity. It also means he doesn't drink alcoholic beverages or even hot tea. Or anything else with caffeine in it. He seems to be honest enough, at least when compared to the usual lot of septic-tank-slurping politicians. He's required by his religion to devote one night a week to just his family. He's learned to invest for the future and seems to have made a lot of money. No visible tattoos. Clean cut (but that may just be a disguise.) I haven't heard anything bad about his kids. He's been married to the same woman for probably 40 years.

What a freak, right?

Why would anyone want somebody like this in charge?
---------

Well, be that as it may, I won't be voting for Romney. I won't be voting for the Baptist beer guy, either. I don't really like politicians at all. Last presidential election I voted for the Green woman. Can't remember her name now. Jesus, what a mistake. Now I find myself leaning toward the Libertarian persuasion and might therefore vote for my old Governor Gary Johnson. He balanced our budget I think. Twice. Unless I was dreaming. Unfortunately he has always wanted to legalize pot and I make too much money selling it now when it's illegal to ever want to see it legalized. I would have to find something else to do if he legalizes the stuff. Not to worry though, Gary has no chance of ever becoming president even though he'll be on the ballet in quite a few states.

There's a song that keeps running through my head distracting my political thought. I will write it down in hopes of exorcising it so I can continue. Please don't think the lyrics below is the end of my post and just leave. I promise not to write it in its entirety. Thank you.

And I know a father
Who had a son
He longed to tell him all the reasons
For the things he'd done
He came a long way
Just to explain
He kissed his boy as he lay sleeping
Then he turned around and headed home again

God only knows
God makes his plan
The information's unavailable
To the mortal man
We work our jobs
Collect our pay
Believe we're gliding down the highway
When in fact we're slip slidin' away

Slip slidin' away
Slip slidin' away
You know the nearer your destination
The more you're slip slidin' away
—Paul Simon
---------

Those of you who really know me know that I would never REALLY sell pot, but I am adding this disclaimer for the newcomers.

Just a thought... I wonder if it would be possible to just go 8 years without having a president at all? Is there a way we could do that? Or are we obligated? I know the constitution outlines the qualifications and duties of a president, but it doesn't say we HAVE to have one all the time, does it? It may. Anyhow.

I have a dear blogging friend who thinks we should erase all the state boundary lines and just have one big happy central government. This friend thinks uniformity is where the future lies, and one big central government can insure that we are uniformedly uniform in all things. I think that would entail sending just about all our money to Washington and trusting them to do what's best for us. Each building would have exactly 14 handicapped parking places no matter what, even the private residences. But I guess there wouldn't be any more private residences left anymore, would there? So one less thing to worry about. We could put out forest fires in the West much more efficiently if we all did it the same way. Uniformedly. One at a time, based on the seniority of the fire. as verified by some government bean counter's tally. I don't know about the rest of you, but speaking for myself I can tell you I DAMN sure don't want to be bothered thinking for myself.

Did you know that Lyndon Johnson became a hippie before he died? At least he let his hair grow out and stopped bathing. Remember the hippies demonstrating in front of the White House, chanting, "Hey, Hey, LBJ! How many kids did you kill today?" Those were the good old days. Imagine if he had been a Republican, hey? - or if he hadn't signed all those Civil Rights laws? Zowie. His ass REALLY would have been grass if he hadn't done that. Anyway, he let his hair grow long and took to just hanging out on his ranch all remorseful-like. That's another liberal politician roasting weenies in hell tonight. I was lying about him not bathing. I guess it doesn't matter now that he's in hell right now surrounded by the families of 50,000 dead teenagers with pitchforks.

Idiot Democrats. Idiot Republicans. Idiot politicians. Idiot us for electing them.

"Children and politicians are notorious for either not understanding the consequences of their actions or refusing to believe that the same actions will always result in the same consequences. It is fascinating to ponder why we punish children for not heeding the consequences of their actions, yet vote for politicians who promise to ignore history and repeat the mistakes of the past." —Robert Ringer

"If I desire a Rolls-Royce, that's my business. It becomes your business only if I arbitrarily decide that you have an obligation to buy it for me, on the grounds that it's a "need" and that therefore I am "entitled" to it. The fact that I may call my desire for a Rolls-Royce a need is, of course, semantic nonsense. I may just as well call it a want, because regardless of what word I assign to it, I still have no moral right to force you to help me acquire it just because I happen to want it." —Robert Ringer

Yes, he's a Libertarian. Not running for office, though.

Vote? For what? For whom? Obama? Why? Ryan? Why? Romney? Why? Biden? Come ON! How did we let this get so out of hand? Are these REALLY our best and brightest? We need Jesus to come back and clean out the temple again. Or something.

It's a good thing I don't write about politics much. Bad for the blood pressure. I just went back and deleted all the vile stuff, and this is what is left for you to read. Thank you.