Wednesday, February 19, 2014

CLEP-ing out

From an online advertisement by the College Board, the fine folks who bring you the ACT and SAT testing:

"CLEP (College-Level Examination Program) helps you earn college credit for knowledge you've acquired through independent study, prior course work, on-the-job training, professional development, cultural pursuits, or internships."

Not to mention something called "Life Experience."

"CLEP-ing out" is a term used (often arrogantly and frequently derisively) by university admissions and enrollment counselors to describe the audacity of people appearing in their office unbidden, straight from the unwashed masses, who want to get credit for a course by challenging the university's examinations for that course, rather than actually take the course and sit in class being put to sleep by the lecture-drone of the graduate student assigned by the course professor to do the actual lecture-droning while the august professor himself is off doing research at his favorite bar slash strip club. Usually, the admissions counselor will stand behind his desk and look down his nose at the seated inquirer with equal portions of contempt and disgust, lifting his wise academic chin a bit more as he says something like, "And what makes you think you could pass the examination on this subject?"

Translation: "How dare you!"

Me: "Well, CLEP is for people who have learned things outside the classroom, through life experience and such. Life experience I have. Some education I have too, but I want some more."


Child as he was, he was desperate with hunger, and reckless with misery. He rose from the table; and advancing to the master, basin and spoon in hand, said, somewhat alarmed at his own temerity:
'Please, sir, I want some more.'
The master was a fat, healthy man; but he turned very pale. He gazed in stupified astonishment on the small rebel for some seconds, and then clung for support to the copper. The assistants were paralysed with wonder; the boys with fear.
'What!' said the master at length, in a faint voice.
'Please, sir,' replied Oliver, 'I want some more.'
The master aimed a blow at Oliver's head with the ladle; pinioned him in his arm; and shrieked aloud for the beadle.
The board were sitting in solemn conclave, when Mr. Bumble rushed into the room in great excitement, and addressing the gentleman in the high chair, said,
'Mr. Limbkins, I beg your pardon, sir! Oliver Twist has asked for more!'


It's been a long time now since I've felt the need for more paper - paper certificates, transcripts, even diplomas (diplomi?) - to frame on walls, especially since I've been self-employed pretty much all my life and thus don't need the paper in order to get hired. All I need is the learning part. I don't really need to impress people and I don't much want to be around people who are impressed by paper, anyway. But I do still like to learn. A lifelong thirst for truth, as we INTPs like to say. Or for "clarity" if you wonder why this blog is so-named. So it's been a long time, as well, since I've sat in the admissions office of any university. Since all I want is to learn, it's easier to just buy the CLEP study materials for various examinations for this or that learning interest. Then I take the sample tests to prove to myself that I know the subject, and omit entirely both the university admissions office and their cashier. It's a hobby. Perhaps I should caution you that my way won't work for you if you actually want college credit.

For some reason, the following statement precedes all sample questions, thousands of times, in all CLEP study guides. Perhaps some college students need the warning. Who knows.
---------------------------


"The following sample questions do not appear on an actual CLEP examination. They are intended to give potential test-takers an indication of the format and difficulty level of the examination and provide content for practice and review."


ANALYZING AND INTERPRETING LITERATURE

My Sorrow, when she's here with me,
  Thinks these dark days of autumn rain
Are beautiful as days can be;
She loves the bare, the withered tree;
  She walks the sodden pasture lane.5
Her pleasure will not let me stay.
 She talks and I am fain* to list*:
She's glad the birds are gone away,
She's glad her simple worsted grey
  Is silver now with clinging mist.10
The desolate, deserted trees,
  The faded earth, the heavy sky,
The beauties she so truly sees,
She thinks I have no eye for these,
  And vexes me for reason why.15
Not yesterday I learned to know
  The love of bare November days
Before the coming of the snow;
But it were vain to tell her so,
  And they are better for her praise.

---------------------------

Question 1 of 9:




The central subject of the poem is
  • A.
    a couple's conversation about which season each prefers
  • B.
    the speaker's dislike of autumn weather
  • C.
    the speaker's desire to spend time with his companion
  • D.
    how sadness helps the speaker appreciate late autumn
  • E.
    why the speaker's companion is looking forward to winter

    Question 2 of 9:
    The poet primarily uses which literary device to characterize the speaker's "Sorrow"?
    • A.
      Symbolism
    • B.
      Parallelism
    • C.
      Foreshadowing
    • D.
      Personification
    • E.
      Irony


    Question 3 of 9:
    In context, the word "simple" in line 9 most nearly means
    • A.
      plain
    • B.
      straightforward
    • C.
      easy
    • D.
      rudimentary
    • E.
      foolish

    Question 4 of 9:
    Lines 7-12 "She's glad … the heavy sky" are best described as a list of
    • A.
      what makes late autumn such a sad time
    • B.
      what the speaker dislikes about his surroundings
    • C.
      what the speaker's "Sorrow" finds appealing
    • D.
      signs that a cold winter is approaching
    • E.
      signs that the speaker's "Sorrow" is biased

    Question 5 of 9:
    Lines 9-10 suggest that "she" is "glad" because
    • A.
      the autumn rain is ending
    • B.
      the mist is another aspect of autumn that pleases her
    • C.
      she is dressed well for the late autumn weather
    • D.
      she likes the new silver color of her clothes
    • E.
      the color of the sky has become more beautiful

    Question 6 of 9:
    The phrase "desolate, deserted" (line 11) is an example of
    • A.
      allusion
    • B.
      alliteration
    • C.
      metaphor
    • D.
      metonymy
    • E.
      onomatopoeia

    Question 7 of 9:
    The phrase "Not yesterday I learned to know / The love of bare November days" (lines 16-17) suggests that
    • A.
      the speaker fell in love on a November day many years ago
    • B.
      today is the first day of November
    • C.
      the speaker has never learned to love November days
    • D.
      the month of November has just ended
    • E.
      the speaker has loved November days for a long time


    Question 8 of 9:
    In the last stanza (lines 16-20), which of the following reasons does the speaker give for not telling his "Sorrow" how he feels about late autumn days?
    1. The speaker values the perspective given by "Sorrow."
    2. It would be useless for the speaker to reveal his or her feelings.
    3. The speaker is afraid to reveal his or her feelings.
    • A.
      I only
    • B.
      I and II only
    • C.
      I and III only
    • D.
      II and III only
    • E.
      I, II and III

    Question 9 of 9:
    The speaker's attitude in the poem is primarily one of
    • A.
      fear and despair
    • B.
      excitement and anticipation
    • C.
      melancholy tempered with contentment
    • D.
      frustration with his companion
    • E.
      surprise leading to joy

      ---------------------------

      I'm sorry these were multiple-choice. That's the only kind they have in these things. I took the test cold without studying and I got only one wrong, so it's not rocket science. Not if you like poetry, at least. I got number 4 wrong. I selected "Symbolism" instead of "Personification."

      If you are interested, the answers are here:

10 comments:

  1. I have often pondered upon 'the heavy sky'.
    We spend our lives at the bottom of an ocean of sky.And of course, every molecule up there has weight.

    And then there are the really heavy things. Airliners and clouds.
    I should think less of the subject for fear I'll become like Chicken Little, and rush around fearfully yelling "The sky is falling! The sky is falling!".
    But the USGS tells me that if one inch of rain falls over one acre of ground, that's 113 tons of water. That's dwarfed by the statement that 1.430 CUBIC MILES of water fall on the conterminous United States each year, enough for a 30 inch covering of the entire landmass.
    The city of Atlanta, Georgia, alone, gets 2.293 billion gallons.
    So, keep looking upward. The sky is full of heavy stuff.

    Too much curiousity does that to you. One moment you're idly pondering, the next you're filling your head with knowledge that will do you no good whatsoever.

    Ignorance is bliss, as my grandfather'd say, looking at his happily rootling hogs, all unaware that, basically, they're made out of bacon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh. And yes, I quote all different weights and measures in the above. If you want to compare, then you'll have to do some head-scratch quick-n-dirty brain fuzzling. The weight of a gallon of water is ten pounds.
      Except when it's a piddly little U.S. gallon, in which case it's only 8.34 pounds, which is not best chosen as a nice round number. The U.S. dry gallon, however, is one-eighth of a Winchester bushel of 2150.42 cubic inches; it is therefore equal to exactly 268.8025 cubic inches or 4.40488377086 L.
      Don't you just love Imperial measurements?

      Back when I was giving up life as a craftsman potter and making my money by working as a plumber, and contracting to various insurance companies, I was required to submit qualifications and credentials, to prove i knew what I was doing, my brother, who'd trained me and thrown the relevant books my way, said "Just go to the College of Building, and take the exams. You'll fly through the practical tests, read up on the rest, you already know most of it."
      So I went along, like you describe, the vice-principal peered over his glasses at me, frowning... "You want to.... what?".
      But I was allowed to take the exam.
      One of the questions was "You are asked to fit a sink. At what height should you set the top edge?"
      The answer they seek is 850mm, 33.5".
      But I was dearly tempted to give the answer in my brother's edwardian treatise on the plumbers art - "Cock-high".

      Delete
    2. Soub, I have never pondered the heavy sky and all that water. I am just grateful there are enough greenhouse gasses up there to hold it up so we don't drown. You are amazing in your ponderings. Now I will ponder those things too. I will not depart from my feet and rods and pecks though. Nor will I use your outrageously big gallons. Your imperial system is only useful in pubs. In school we were taught that Canada put 5 quarts of gasoline in every gallon (though they didn't call it gasoline) but we used real gallons here. There was more said about Canadians as well (I lived across the border in Michigan) but none of it was verified that I recall. Congrats on your new home. It's a beauty.

      Delete
    3. And how anyone could argue with the simplicity of Fahrenheit thermometers, I'll never know. Freezing is 32 and boiling is 212. You couldn't get a more clear and obvious system. Easy to use, easy to remember. No dividing by 1.9 and subtracting 32 like in your system. Or whatever you do. And after we had started to learn the centigrade system in 5th grade, the bastards changed the name to cellulite. You can have that kind of nonsense.

      Delete
  2. And there amongst us, far too many, actually who are far too ignorant to every learn from life's experiences...no matter how many experiences they have!

    And, I doubt there are many nowadays able to interpret poetry...unless it is "U r there with her; C u 8er!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't believe that's true at all in your case, Lee. You've learned enough for several degrees, I think. :)

      You are very wise.

      Delete
  3. And as for Imperial and Metric...I still work between the two...cross-referencing when I need to do so....even though it's been many years since we here in Aus switched over. Cooking restaurants etc., did help me somewhat with weights, though.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I will leave the measurement thing alone since you already know I'm with the rest of the world on this one.

    I actually CLEPed out of Chemistry in college (and was exempt from all of my English classes due to my ACT/SAT score). I didn't want to have to get up early for the 7:30 lab. Fortunately, my high school chemistry class was very good so I had had most of the material already.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would still be in chemistry class today if I'd had to learn it instead of just passing it. My SAT was high. I think that is due to some sort of natural ability rather than classwork excelling. Must have been in my case. You got all As, I'll bet. I'm just guessing. All I got were remarks like "tragic waste of potential" on my report cards. And that wold be one of the GOOD remarks. As for metrics, Genesis tells us it is of the devil and people who use it will rot in hell. I'm not taking any chances.

      Delete
    2. I was all A's (until college - 3.67 in college), but I wasn't really challenged in public school.

      Not sure scores mean that much in the real world, though. Attitude, I think, is important, too. I knew five or six big scholarship winners when I went to college based on their scores, but everyone had had people looking over their shoulders all their lives so, away at school, they did whatever. My roommate's GPA was 1.2 (and she flunked out). Two others I know flunked out, while all the other people I knew who had the same scholarship I did flunked out within a year or two.

      That's why I made Stephanie (my daughter) do her own discipline, knowing (correctly) that if it were important to her, she'd get her act together. She got started later than I would have liked (junior year of high school) but she's got like 3.7 in college nearing the end of her sophomore year, so there you go.

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