Lincoln and Kennedy: Coincidence? I don't think so.

I read the following information on a flyer I got from a printing company, so I hold much stock in its truth. I'm sure you (collective) believe also that coincidences come to us from a supernatural tarot-like world, and we would be silly not to take them to heart and ponder their significance.

•Lincoln was elected President in 1860. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

• Both were shot on a Friday, in front of their wives.

• Both were shot from behind in the head.

• Both of their successors were named Johnson, both southern Democrats, both had served in the Senate.

• Andrew Johnson was born in 1808. Lyndon Johnson was born in 1908.

• John Wilkes Booth was born in 1839 and Lee Harvey Oswald was born in 1939. Both had three names. But then, don't we all.

[Give me just a moment to compose myself, please. My fingers are trembling with the astonishing metaphysical awesomeness of these facts.] Ok.

• Both Presidential wives had lost children while in the White House. (It's a pretty big place.)

• Oh. Through death, they meant. That's more somber.

• Lincoln's secretary, named Kennedy, advised him not to go to the theater.

• Kennedy's secretary, named Lincoln, advised him not to go to Dallas [citation needed.]

• The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain 7 letters.

• The names Andrew Johnson and Lyndon Johnson each contain 13 letters.

• The names John Wilkes Booth and Lee Harvey Oswald each contain 15 letters.

• "I" comes before "E" except after "C".

• The words "printers" and "bullshit" each contain 8 letters.

• Both assassins were killed before being brought to trial.

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Well, that's all the official coincidences the printer listed on his handout. During my quiet meditation of the supernatural, a few more occurred to me. Shall I share? I shall.

• Lincoln had 10 fingers. Kennedy had 10 toes.

• Both men later had their faces stamped into coins.

• Lincoln ended a war. Kennedy started a war.

• Lincoln's father made moonshine in Kentucky. Kennedy's father bootlegged from Canada.

• "Fords Theater" and "Big Limousine" each have 12 letters.

• "Derringer" and "Big Mauser" each have 9 letters**.

• Lincoln's wife was named Mary. Kennedy's wife once had a horse named Mary. [citation needed]

• "A bedroom in house across the street" has 30 letters. "Dallas Parkland Memorial Hospital" has 30 letters.

This is scary, isn't it?

Some say there is not a divine hand in our daily lives. Now we know better.

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**Note: Mannlicher-Carcano rifle has about 17 letters, and therefore "Mauser" was substituted in order to match "Derringer." This substitution is (coincidentally) known as poetic license.

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Here is an absolutely true coincidental (I think) fact that I know is true because I have been there and pressed my nose against the glass: both the chair that Lincoln was sitting in and the Limousine that Kennedy was riding in are now in the Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn Michigan. (I don't count the "Ford" part as another coincidence, not being superstitious.)