This one was told by Ray Stevens on the Mike Huckabee show the other night on Fox News in between songs but I tell it a lot better than Ray can

I walks into a pet store the other day, looking to see if they had something I could use as a birthday present for my crusty old grandfather and I sees this GORGEOUS multi-colored parrot in a huge gilded cage and I asks the shopkeeper how much and he says $1500. I says no, no thank you, that's too much but then HE says it's a steal at that price because the parrot speaks six languages and fluently, every one and I say well yeah, that DO make a difference and so I buys the parrot. I takes him to my crusty old grandfather and I says to him happy birthday grandpapa and I gives him the GORGEOUS multilingual parrot and he says tanks. My crusty grandfather says that I mean.

Well 5 days go by and I stop by to say howdy to my crusty old grandfather and I look around and I don't see that GORGEOUS parrot anywheres, so I says grandpapa, I says, how was the parrot and did you like him? And grandpapa says he was right DELICIOUS. Well! Holy Hopping Hanna don't you know? I says, what you mean grandpapa? How could you up and EAT him and him speaking 6 languages and all? And grandpapa says well he shoulda SAID something then.

I swear.

Health care

This is not a post about Obama's national health care bill that is now working its way through Congress. That was so hastily put together that it probably won't pass. (I don't know if that is a good or bad thing, because nobody seems to know the particulars or fine print of that bill - only that, like the infamous "stimulus package", Obama wants it rushed through immediately one way or the other.) I am not one who believes that ANY health bill is better than NO new health bill. So we will have to wait and see on that.

The talk about a national health care program, however, has prompted me to give it considerable thought. I have seen interest in my blog travels to other blogs, for example on the blog of Stephanie B, so I am apparently not alone in my pondering.

As usual, I clarify my thinking (for myself, in my own mind) by writing out what I am thinking, and I am now in the process of trying to put in writing what I think is a workable solution. This is certainly not the the place that bit of writing, but I will link to it when it is finished. Right now I just want to throw out an outline of what a good health care bill should include, as well as some of the obstacles or problems that I see. Here are my initial observations. Some are obvious, some may not be.

1. Everyone who lives in the USA should have access to adequate and quality health care. (Everyone in the world should too, but this post is about U.S. health care.)

2. Not everyone can afford to buy private health insurance.

3. History (especially recent history) shows us that large private corporations are often dishonest, lazy price-fixing entities which defeat the concept of honest competition.

4. History shows us that the Federal Government is good at doing certain things, but are often not the most economical or fast-responding people in the world.

5. Although our Federal Government is corrupt to varying degrees in every branch, Congress is the real obstacle to getting a GOOD health bill passed, because they are just too beholden to special interests.

My own version of such a health bill would HAVE to include AT LEAST the following points, or I wouldn't support it.

1. Everyone would have to be covered.

2. Everyone would have to help pay for it (although perhaps with their labor or service instead of money.)

3. It would have to be administered fairly, effectively - and as economically as practicable while still providing the proper coverage and level of service.

Must stop here or I will break my shortness rule, if I haven't already. But if I WERE to continue, I would talk about how I want to see GOOD SERVICE, MORE HEALTH CARE PROVIDERS, BETTER FACILITIES, AND WELLNESS CARE INSTEAD OF JUST EMERGENCY CARE.

Angels in the architecture. Call Me Al.

A man walks down the street
He says why am I soft in the middle now
Why am I soft in the middle
The rest of my life is so hard
I need a photo-opportunity
I want a shot at redemption
Don't want to end up a cartoon
In a cartoon graveyard
Bonedigger Bonedigger
Dogs in the moonlight
Far away my well-lit door
Mr. Beerbelly Beerbelly
Get these mutts away from me
You know I don't find this stuff amusing anymore
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty when you call me
You can call me Al

A man walks down the street
He says why am I short of attention
Got a short little span of attention
And why are my nights are so long
Where's my wife and family
What if I die here
Who'll be my role-model
Now that my role-model is
Gone Gone
He ducked back down the alley
With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl
All along along
There were incidents and accidents
There were hints and allegations

A man walks down the street
It's a street in a strange world
Maybe it's the Third World
Maybe it's his first time around
He doesn't speak the language
He holds no currency
He is a foreign man
He is surrounded by the sound
The sound
Cattle in the marketplace
Scatterlings and orphanages
He looks around, around
He sees angels in the architecture
Spinning in infinity
He says Amen! and Hallelujah!

If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty when you call me
You can call me Al
Call me Al