I walks into a pet store the other day, looking to see if they had something I could use as a birthday present for my crusty old grandfather and I sees this GORGEOUS multi-colored parrot in a huge gilded cage and I asks the shopkeeper how much and he says $1500. I says no, no thank you, that's too much but then HE says it's a steal at that price because the parrot speaks six languages and fluently, every one and I say well yeah, that DO make a difference and so I buys the parrot. I takes him to my crusty old grandfather and I says to him happy birthday grandpapa and I gives him the GORGEOUS multilingual parrot and he says tanks. My crusty grandfather says that I mean.
Well 5 days go by and I stop by to say howdy to my crusty old grandfather and I look around and I don't see that GORGEOUS parrot anywheres, so I says grandpapa, I says, how was the parrot and did you like him? And grandpapa says he was right DELICIOUS. Well! Holy Hopping Hanna don't you know? I says, what you mean grandpapa? How could you up and EAT him and him speaking 6 languages and all? And grandpapa says well he shoulda SAID something then.
I swear.
What is a polygon? A dead parrot.
ReplyDeleteYou can't talk about dead parrots without mentioning Monty Python: "He passed on. This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker". John Cleese.
ReplyDeleteI didn't come up with that picture, but then, I don't pronounce Arab the same way as you probably do. :)
ReplyDeleteAnon got in the parrot comment before I did. So... did you know...
ReplyDeleteParrots are also known as psittacines (pronounced /ˈsɪtəsaɪnz/),
(I know you love it when people google things)
@A. - Funny. :)
ReplyDelete@Anon - I remember Monty Python. Unequalled. Did you see "A Fish Called Wanda"? I still laugh when I see that old movie. Cleese has more comedic talent in his little finger than... well, more than a LOT of people have in their whole body!
@Sheila - Don't be insulting. :) Americans don't pronounce it that way. It was only a song. And maybe the Bushie DOES resemble Ahab. Or Clyde, for that matter.
ReplyDeleteNow I can't find it either, but I swear it was under either Ahab the Arab or Clyde the Camel.
You don't believe me.
@Caroline - I didn't know that. (And your pronunciation guide didn't help me.) But I looked it up in the dictionary and you are right. No way you knew that. :)
ReplyDeleteAhab the Arab was one of our favorite albums as kids. My brother and I used to go through the house singing "Jeremiah Peabody's Polyunsaturated, Quick-Dissolving Fast-Acting, Pleasant-Tasting Green and Purple Pills" at the top of our lungs.
ReplyDeletethe pronunciation guide didn't help me much either, in fact when I tried saying it out loud my co-workers had to check if I was ok, I think they thought I was choking on something.
ReplyDelete@Janet - Two all-beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun. :)
ReplyDelete@Caroline - I didn't even try to say it out loud. It made my head hurt just reading it silently. You are a trouble maker. :)
Please tell me he didn't write the big mac song. I'll lose faith.
ReplyDeleteNo Janet. It was the only confusing song I could think of. Not Ray's. :)
ReplyDeleteWhew!
ReplyDeleteThere's always "The Day the Squirrel Went Berserk at the First Self-Righteous Church."