Monday, August 3, 2009

This one was told by Ray Stevens on the Mike Huckabee show the other night on Fox News in between songs but I tell it a lot better than Ray can

I walks into a pet store the other day, looking to see if they had something I could use as a birthday present for my crusty old grandfather and I sees this GORGEOUS multi-colored parrot in a huge gilded cage and I asks the shopkeeper how much and he says $1500. I says no, no thank you, that's too much but then HE says it's a steal at that price because the parrot speaks six languages and fluently, every one and I say well yeah, that DO make a difference and so I buys the parrot. I takes him to my crusty old grandfather and I says to him happy birthday grandpapa and I gives him the GORGEOUS multilingual parrot and he says tanks. My crusty grandfather says that I mean.

Well 5 days go by and I stop by to say howdy to my crusty old grandfather and I look around and I don't see that GORGEOUS parrot anywheres, so I says grandpapa, I says, how was the parrot and did you like him? And grandpapa says he was right DELICIOUS. Well! Holy Hopping Hanna don't you know? I says, what you mean grandpapa? How could you up and EAT him and him speaking 6 languages and all? And grandpapa says well he shoulda SAID something then.

I swear.

13 comments:

  1. What is a polygon? A dead parrot.

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  2. You can't talk about dead parrots without mentioning Monty Python: "He passed on. This parrot is no more. He has ceased to be. He's expired and gone to meet his maker". John Cleese.

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  3. I didn't come up with that picture, but then, I don't pronounce Arab the same way as you probably do. :)

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  4. Anon got in the parrot comment before I did. So... did you know...
    Parrots are also known as psittacines (pronounced /ˈsɪtəsaɪnz/),

    (I know you love it when people google things)

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  5. @A. - Funny. :)

    @Anon - I remember Monty Python. Unequalled. Did you see "A Fish Called Wanda"? I still laugh when I see that old movie. Cleese has more comedic talent in his little finger than... well, more than a LOT of people have in their whole body!

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  6. @Sheila - Don't be insulting. :) Americans don't pronounce it that way. It was only a song. And maybe the Bushie DOES resemble Ahab. Or Clyde, for that matter.

    Now I can't find it either, but I swear it was under either Ahab the Arab or Clyde the Camel.

    You don't believe me.

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  7. @Caroline - I didn't know that. (And your pronunciation guide didn't help me.) But I looked it up in the dictionary and you are right. No way you knew that. :)

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  8. Ahab the Arab was one of our favorite albums as kids. My brother and I used to go through the house singing "Jeremiah Peabody's Polyunsaturated, Quick-Dissolving Fast-Acting, Pleasant-Tasting Green and Purple Pills" at the top of our lungs.

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  9. the pronunciation guide didn't help me much either, in fact when I tried saying it out loud my co-workers had to check if I was ok, I think they thought I was choking on something.

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  10. @Janet - Two all-beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun. :)

    @Caroline - I didn't even try to say it out loud. It made my head hurt just reading it silently. You are a trouble maker. :)

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  11. Please tell me he didn't write the big mac song. I'll lose faith.

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  12. No Janet. It was the only confusing song I could think of. Not Ray's. :)

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  13. Whew!

    There's always "The Day the Squirrel Went Berserk at the First Self-Righteous Church."

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