Printed on a loaf of Sara Lee bread:
"We are so confident that you will love our Bakery Breads that we guarantee their taste. If for any reason you are not satisfied, call toll free 1-800-889-3556 or visit www.saralee.com and we will gladly replace the product."
Dear Sara Lee:
If I am not satisfied with your product, why would I want you to replace it? Would it taste different? Would I love the replacement more than I loved the first one? If not, would I have to call you again? When would this ever end? That's not a guarantee. Just give me my money back.
Relax Max
Dear Mr/Ms Max, Relax:
We are happy to hear you enjoy our [insert product line here] products enough to write and tell us. Print out the coupon below and enjoy .10 off on your next purchase of [insert product line here]. Again, thank you for your patronage.
NOBODY DOESN'T LIKE SARA LEE!®
Dear Sara Lee:
Somebody doesn't like Sara Lee. Me. And your 800 number doesn't work. Also, I feel your email was unresponsive to my question. Tell you what: the next time I am at the store, I am going to accidentally drop a loaf of your bread on the floor and accidentally step on it. Then you can credit the store. I will continue doing this every time I go shopping until I feel better.
Relax Max
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