Don't ask, don't tell. Ah, just don't ask...

The U.S. is always trying to come up with new and better weapons systems. Some of them never see the light of day. Many of them are just plain stupid.

According to BBC News, who got it heresay from a group called the Sunshine Project, who supposedly got it through the U.S. Freedom of Information Act, the Pentagon was working on several odd weapons of mass confusion back in 1994 at a research facility in Ohio. Of course the BBC reported it with a very serious face, as if it were gospel truth they had checked and rechecked personally. The BBC is DEFINITELY not biased against the U.S. or the U.S. military.

Supposedly, the U.S. researched:

A "gay bomb" which would make enemy soldiers fall in love, or at least become sexually irresistible to each other. While we then killed them, I guess.

Another was supposed to be something that made the enemy all get really bad breath. The BBC article actually said, "... make them "obvious" by giving them bad breath." I don't know what that means. Maybe if you were in a dark room with them and had to feel for them to kill them, you would know who the friendlies were. Like that. You just smelled their breath before you gutted them in the darkness. I don't know. I will give you the address of the BBC and you can write to them and find out what they meant by "obvious."

Then there was the diabolical weapon that would attract swarms of wasps to sting the enemy. But not sting the pure Americans, I guess. That's just crap that the BBC made up - I'll bet it was really the Royal Army that made up the wasp weapon. Americans would never do stuff like that.

The insane attacking rats was a bit far fetched though, even for the BBC. I called a friend at the Pentagon who works in Special Weapons Division, and he said, "It's important to point out that only those proposals which are deemed appropriate, based on stringent human effects, legal, and international treaty reviews are considered for development or acquisition."

Then, off the record: "Besides, you should know by now that the BBC is full of shit. Did they tell you the one about the chemical we dropped on a herd of sheep that caused massive flatulence? They didn't even know about that one, I'll bet."

URGENT UPDATE: Apparently the "A1e Flatulence, Aerial Inducement" weapon actually was real and was about to go into production when it was discovered (just in time) that certain Slavic countries, apparently potential enemies, namely Bulgaria, actually enjoy the smell of farts.