Monday, April 20, 2009

Madonna released from hospital after horseback riding accident

LONG ISLAND, NY -- Singer-actor-publicity hound Madonna has been released from a Southampton Hospital with "minor injuries and bruises" following being thrown off a horse earlier on Saturday, Vice President Joey Biden disclosed Sunday Morning at an undisclosed golf course in the Hamptons.

The accident occurred when the horse Madonna was riding was startled by paparazzi who jumped out of the bushes screaming, "Look this way like a virgin!"

Her only apparent injuries were a shifting of recent Botox injections in her lips and left eye.

Madonna will be having further tests and continues to remain under observation by doctors. Should camera crews show up, she has pledged to also have X-rays taken.

It wasn't the equestrian star's first horse-related injury. Earlier this year in Malawi, she fell from a zebra and nearly broke her ass. Madonna also broke several bones in a 2005 fall on her English country estate on her 67th birthday, including three cracked ribs, a broken collarbone, a broken hand and a severely wounded pride.

Madonna has vowed to confine her publicity stunts the for rest of this year to adopting African children who already have parents.

She is recovering at the New York estate of her friend and fellow bulimic Gwenyth Paltrow.

Send donations in care of Relax Max at this blog. All monies guaranteed** to be promptly forwarded.

**Not to be construed as an actual guarantee.


  1. I wasn't there, I promise. When I read Southampton Hospital I was going to take it upon myself to make sure she had very special treatment, but I see it's the other Southampton. She's looking better already, I notice.

  2. Thank God she did not break one of her bullet tits. Now that would be horrendous.

  3. What makes you think I don't believe you? You know I hang on your every word. Don't you? Don't you believe me?

  4. I'll not argue with you in public. You should be studying your American history and working to get rid of your British bias.

  5. I am doing both those things. Why don't you believe me?

  6. Now, I'm really going to confuse you by giving you an award.Believe it or don't.

  7. Thank you Stephanie. That was nice of you. :)

  8. At first I was confused by why you would even care about this story (I saw the headline, but didn't read the actual story. I took it on faith that if the fall had killed her that would have been mentioned somehow in the headline.).
    Then I saw the picture. Naughty naughty Max. But oh so funny!

  9. Max you are so funny at times.. this is hilarious.. and the picture definitely does her justice... better than the



Related Posts with Thumbnails