Wednesday, July 8, 2009

An obituary I liked

I didn't know Jim Adams. I liked the obituary his son wrote.

June 8, 1955 to September 9, 2008

by Jeremiah Adams

He died as a result of being stubborn

A celebration of life for James William “Jim” Adams, 53, will be held at a later date.

He died Tuesday, Sept. 9, 2008 at Memorial Hospital of Converse County in Douglas. Jim, who had tired of reading obituaries noting other’s courageous battles with this or that disease, wanted it known that he lost his battle. It was primarily as a result of being stubborn and not following doctor’s orders, or maybe for just living life a little too hard for better than five decades.

He was born June 8, 1955 in Garrison, N.D. the son of James William and Ruby Helen (Clark) Adams.

Deprived of his final wish…to be run over by a beer truck

Jim was sadly deprived of his final wish, which was to be run over by a beer truck on the way to the liquor store to buy booze for a date. True to his personal style, he spent his final hours joking with medical personnel, cussing and begging for narcotics and bargaining with God to look over his loving dog, Biscuit, and his family.

He would like to thank all “his ladies” for putting up with him the last 30 years.

During his life, he excelled at anything he put his mind to. He loved to hear and tell jokes and spin tales of grand adventures he may or may not have had.

In lieu of flowers, get rip roaring drunk

Jim is survived by five sons, Jeremiah Adams and his wife, Nicole, Mica Olivas, Wade Olivas, Brice Simpson and Cole Adams; sister, Jerri Giegerich; two ex-wives, Vickie Harrison and Marilyn Williams; four grandchildren; two nieces and two great-nieces.

He was preceded in death by his parents and a brother-in-law.

In lieu of flowers, he asks that you make a sizeable purchase at your favorite watering hole, get rip roaring drunk and tell the stories he no longer can.

Gorman Funeral Homes - Converse Chapel of Douglas is in charge of the arrangements.


  1. How wonderful an example to set.. My hero as well... if you can't go out with a good laugh when can you?


  2. No an obituary, but the same sentiment:

    My candle burns at both ends
    It will not last the night
    But ah my foes and oh my friends
    It gives a lovely light. ~ Roald Dahl

    Doesn't entirely marry with your previous post though, does it?

  3. I don't know, there's something about living your life the way you want it and accepting the hand that deals you.

    I can respect that.

    I also appreciate a sense of humor, even (if not especially in) death.

  4. There are many versions: life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving in a well preserved, perfect body - rather we should skid in sideways, martini in one hand, chocolate in the other, body thoroughly used up, screaming WOO HOO! What a ride!

    However if you're arriving at the grave early because of being in bad shape, should you be expecting other people - medical science, family - to pick up the pieces?

  5. I don't think it's a black and white answer. On the one hand, one can make a viable argument that it's unfair to have the world at large subsidize your emphysema if you're a smoker or liver transplant if you're an inveterate drinker.

    On the other hand, if you don't ask for any special considerations, I have to shrug.

    I'm also of the opinion that what your family has to pick up and the choice you make are between you and the family. If you're willing to leave your family shattered through your refusal to take care of yourself, perhaps your family should prepare themselves. I mean, how much one owes one's loved ones - isn't that a personal choice?

  6. Hi Sage! I had almost given up on you coming by, but so glad you did!

    I agree. I have seen people who dieted and exercised and were really fit, get cancer and die in their 30s. And all of us have seen the 100-year-old cigar smoker. Sometimes it doesn't make sense at all. I have said before that if the doctor ever gives me only 6 months to live, the first thing I would do is go out and buy a carton of cigarettes. Sigh. But true. I'm not much on drinking though. You can have my share. :) You empathize with this guy just because he was a biker. You realize that, no? :) :)

    @A. - I remember Roald Dahl! From you guys's earlier tutelage! Sadly, you are right - it has NOTHING to do with anything. :)

    Yes it does. I'm sorry.

    @Stephanie B - Words of wisdom. But most of us try to hedge our bets, eh?

    @A. - I like that. Did you just make that up? No, you shouldn't have to pay for the medical expenses of other disapated lives. Just mine.

    @Stephanie - I guess you're right. But you know we are going to pay anyway, even if it is unfair. We can't just let them die. (Can we?)

    Man, that's deeeeep, S. How about we just bring back Dr. Kavorkian or whatever his name was. Now there's food for another post.

  7. Of course it's a personal choice, all of it is to a large extent. And none of it is black and white. But in this country at least, the taxpayer foots the bill if any medical treatment is required. Should an alcoholic have a liver transplant when he's liable to continue to do the same again? Is that not a waste of money, resources, and a perfectly good liver? That's an extreme example I suppose. Smokers with lung cancer? I've seen patients wheeling their chemotherapy drips outside the hospital building so that they can have a smoke. Where should compassion end? There are reports that some surgeons are refusing to operate on patients they consider aren't helping themselves, until the patient show some effort.

    I'll stop now, because this most likely isn't the direction Max intended this post to go. Sorry Max.

  8. @A. - I don't care what directions you take ANY of my posts. I'm just along for the ride anyway. I say YES! to the liver transplant and the lung stuff. And throw them docs off a cliff. What was that little poem at the end of Tom Jones? "Tomorrow do your worst, for I have lived today."

    Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!! I would be a drinking smoking womanizing pirate if allowed. And Sage would teach me to bike and we'd go blasting into the sunset.

    Or not.

    A guy can dream.

  9. I once knew this old boy, in his 80s, I think. Six foot seven. Huge. Very large old man. Balding and with a paunch at that age. He showed me a picture of himself as a young man, perched on his Indian motorcycle, wild and fearless. This must have been in the 1930s I guess. And suddenly in my mind he wasn't a tired out old man anymore. Can you imagine his 6-7 frame back than, roaring down the road on that wild motorcycle? Glory Days. Like a Rock. Choose your own background music. Each of us has his time. We use it or we lose it.

  10. No, Max, we use it or abuse it and still end up losing it. My favorite bumper sticker is-Eat Right, Exercise Regularly, Die Anyway.

    We all live for ourselves-even the goodie two-shoes like Gandhi and Mother Teresa. We all lose our charms in the end.

    Still, it is a great obit.

    When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather-not screaming in terror like the passengers in the car he was driving.

  11. I say YES! to the liver transplant and the lung stuff. And throw them docs off a cliff. What was that little poem at the end of Tom Jones? "Tomorrow do your worst, for I have lived today."

    Just how two-faced can one dog get, Max? You have just spent an eternity exhorting us to avoid Type 2 diabetes by leading a clean and healthy life, and now you're saying that?

  12. This is brilliant - I'm going to go ahead and write mine ahead of time. My family can fill in the dates later.

    As to the rest of the conversation, I get pretty annoyed that I'm paying exhorbitant insurance premiums because of people who are deliberately damaging themselves through their lifestyles and expecting me to pick up the tab. If I'm going to pay for a dissident lifestyle I prefer it to be my own. But I can't afford one.
    I, too, am going to have a motorcycle one day though.
    To further muddy the waters.

  13. @Descartes - I like that bumper sticker. So true.

    @Sheila - "An eternity"? Is that what you think of my serious stuff? But you read all of it. I know you did. :)

    @Janet - Welcome back! Nothing like taking a whole month off! I had to look up the word "dissident" but then I agreed with you. (Please try not to do that. :) Hope all is going okay in Kentucky. Don't stay away so long.



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